After a long time of absence from my blog, with occasional posts in my Twitter feed, it’s now time for a post. My last post was about me signing a contract of employment in February 2017. Unfortunately that didn’t last, because the work situation and my own abilities were unbalanced. But since I didn’t want to give up, I tried to fight on. It lasted a few months until I not only wanted to finish my employment but also my life. I understood that the chance I had gotten was one in a million, and I really wanted to hold on to it. But instead everything came falling down, and the social safety net I thought I had proved to be non-existent. Instead of sick leave and time to review and change my work situation, I suddenly became unemployed. The unemployment has lasted for a year now. In my meetings with the authorities, the last thing I was told was that I was unemployable and that it’s a society problem. How does one recover from such a message?
The good thing is that haven’t given up. Over the past year, I realized that I was probably wanting things too much, and that’s why I pushed everyone else, all in order to get my employment. Instead, I chose to put myself in the backseat of my own life, and let others sit at the wheel for a while. That, however, has meant that, in principle, nothing has happened for the last year. A couple of months ago I therefore started taking back the command in my life, and in a week or two I will do study visits at a number of places, in an attempt to find some place where I can do something. And from there, I can hopefully work myself up towards a job with salary. But for now, the most important thing is that I listen to myself and the way I feel. Because in my own eyes, I’m not unemployable, and I’m not a society problem!